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70 Sassy Short Sarcastic Quotes and Status
Oh, look, another day to pretend I care.
If sarcasm burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.
I’m not lazy; I’m in energy-saving mode.
Excuse me while I laugh at your attempt to be relevant.
I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right.
I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman; I’m just saying no one has seen us in the same room.
I’m not a morning person. I’m not an afternoon person. Let’s just say, I’m not a person until I’ve had coffee.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I’m not short; I’m concentrated awesome.
Funny Quotes and Messages
Of course, I talk to myself. I need expert advice.
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
I’m not sarcastic; I’m just allergic to stupidity.
I’m not anti-social; I’m selectively social.
I’m not a control freak. You’re just doing it wrong.
I’m not always right, but when I am, it’s usually all the time.
I’m not judging; I’m just observing your lack of common sense.
I’m not ignoring you; I’m just prioritizing more important things, like my sanity.
Funny Quotes and Messages
I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
I’m not saying you’re stupid; you just have bad luck thinking.
I’m not late; I’m on my own time zone.
I’m not a people person, but I’m a send you memes from a safe distance person.
I’m not rude; I’m just honest, and the truth hurts.
I’m not bossy; I just have better ideas.
I’m not a couch potato; I’m in a committed relationship with my bed.
I’m not fat; I’m just easier to see.
Sassy Short Sarcastic Quotes and Status
I’m not crazy; I prefer the term mentally hilarious.
I’m not being difficult; I’m just gifted at making simple things complicated.
I’m not a gynecologist, but I know when someone’s being a pain in the uterus.
I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m smarter than you.
I’m not a drama queen; I’m the entire royal family.
I’m not saying you’re old, but your birth certificate is a historical document.
I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.
I’m not lazy; I’m in energy-saving mode.
I’m not shy; I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
Sassy Short Sarcastic Quotes and Status
I’m not a morning person; I’m a not-a-morning-person person.
I’m not a complete idiot – some parts are missing.
I’m not saying you’re wrong; I’m just saying I’m right, and you’re not.
I’m not a therapist, but I can pretend to care for an hourly fee.
I’m not saying you’re boring, but my bed has a more exciting social life than you.
I’m not short; I’m vertically challenged.
I’m not addicted to coffee; we’re in a committed relationship.
I’m not a control freak; you’re just out of control.
I’m not weird; I’m limited edition.
Sassy Short Sarcastic Quotes and Status
I’m not a morning person, but I’m also not a mourning person – stop killing my vibe.
I’m not fat; I’m just easier to see.
I’m not always sarcastic, but when I am, it’s usually because someone asked a stupid question.
I’m not lazy; I’m on energy-saving mode.
I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right.
I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
I’m not late; the rest of the world is just early.
I’m not saying you’re stupid; you just have bad luck thinking.
I’m not a therapist, but I can pretend to care for an hourly fee.
Sassy Short Sarcastic Quotes and Status
I’m not shy; I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
I’m not short; I’m just concentrated awesome.
I’m not a control freak; you’re just out of control.
I’m not weird; I’m limited edition.
I’m not a morning person, but I’m also not a mourning person – stop killing my vibe.
I’m not fat; I’m just easier to see.
I’m not always sarcastic, but when I am, it’s usually because someone asked a stupid question.
I’m not lazy; I’m on energy-saving mode.
I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right.
Sassy Short Sarcastic Quotes and Status
I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
I’m not late; the rest of the world is just early.
I’m not saying you’re stupid; you just have bad luck thinking.
I’m not a therapist, but I can pretend to care for an hourly fee.
I’m not shy; I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
I’m not short; I’m just concentrating on being awesome.
I’m not a control freak; you’re just out of control.
I’m not weird; I’m limited edition.
I’m not a morning person, but I’m also not a mourning person – stop killing my vibe.
Also Read: 70 Missing School Friends Quotes, Messages, and Status